Question

根據(jù)下列信息：以A flood hit Beijing為題寫一篇洪水災(zāi)害的文章。
1. 時(shí)間：2012年7月21日下午1點(diǎn)左右；
2. 一場(chǎng)雷電交加的暴風(fēng)雨襲擊了北京；
3. 我和我的同班同學(xué)在學(xué)習(xí)DIY課程，老師叫我們盡快回家，我們合撐一把雨傘，雨不停地在我們周圍下著，風(fēng)從后面吹來(lái)，我們?cè)陲L(fēng)中丟失了雨傘，幾乎摔倒；
4. 最后我們到達(dá)了我叔叔家，向窗外望去，多么可怕的洪水�。∷鼪_走了我們的小村莊和橋梁，房屋倒塌，至少79人死亡，許多人無(wú)處居住；
5. 災(zāi)后人們開(kāi)始互救，中國(guó)政府也積極采取措施幫助處于困難中的人們。
注意：至少寫出兩點(diǎn)，當(dāng)洪水來(lái)襲時(shí)保護(hù)自己的措施。
                                                                                         
                                                                                 
                                                                                         
                                                                                 
                                                                                         
                                                                                 
                                                                                         

Answer 1

A flood hit Beijing
A storm hit Beijing around 1:00 pm on July 21, 2012. My classmates and I were learning DIY course, and the teacher told us to go home as soon as possible. We held together an umbrella, but the rain kept going around us. Unluckily, we lost the umbrella in the wind, and both of us almost fell down; Finally we arrived at my uncle's house. What a terrible flood! It washed away small villages and bridges. Houses were collapsed, at least 79 people were killed and many people became homeless. People began to rebuild their homes, and the government has actively taken measures to help people in trouble.
When flood hits our city, we should follow the adults’ advice. Don’t run away or be scared. The electricity and gas should be cut off at once if the flood goes into your house. Keep calm. You can make a difference.

試題分析：這是一篇提綱作文。本文要求按照所給的題目結(jié)合提示內(nèi)容完成這篇文章。寫作中要包含洪水發(fā)生的時(shí)間、我和我同學(xué)的遭遇、洪水的嚴(yán)重危害和洪水來(lái)臨時(shí)的自救措施等幾個(gè)方面進(jìn)行陳述，表達(dá)出自己的觀點(diǎn)等。根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容可知本文主要是一般過(guò)去時(shí)態(tài)，人稱主要是第一、三人稱，注意并列連詞的使用及主謂一致問(wèn)題。寫作中注意上下文的過(guò)度，符合邏輯關(guān)系。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】這篇短文詳細(xì)、全面地介紹了洪水襲擊北京的基本情況，并包含了文中所要求的全部信息，并且表達(dá)出了自己的個(gè)人自救觀點(diǎn)。其中使用了一些固定句式和短語(yǔ)，包含狀語(yǔ)從句和感嘆句的準(zhǔn)確使用為文章增色不少.如became homeless，make a difference，What a terrible flood!The electricity and gas should be cut off at once if the flood goes into your house. 學(xué)習(xí)中再注意總結(jié)，牢記一些固定句式及短語(yǔ)，寫作時(shí)就可以適當(dāng)引用，使文章的表達(dá)更有邏輯性,更富有條理。