Question

【題目】書面表達(dá)

在九年級(jí)即將結(jié)束之際，你們班將舉行一次主題班會(huì)，要求同學(xué)們談?wù)勅�年來自己的收獲與變化。請(qǐng)為David準(zhǔn)備一份100詞左右的演講稿，具體內(nèi)容如下：

	過去	現(xiàn)在
學(xué)習(xí)	很少閱讀，花時(shí)間在…	讀書使我放松…
環(huán)保	浪費(fèi)水電，隨處亂拋垃圾	意識(shí)到環(huán)保的重要性，垃圾入桶
禮儀	大聲喧嘩，插隊(duì)推擠	舉止禮貌，主動(dòng)讓座
愛心	不知道如何關(guān)心他人	……
愿望	夢(mèng)想不帶護(hù)照周游世界，成為一名社會(huì)工作者，因?yàn)?/span>……。

Hello, everyone. I’m David. Back to the life in the last three years, I think I have changed a lot and made great progress in many ways.

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Answer 1

【答案】Hello, everyone. I’m David. Back to the life in the last three years, I think I have changed a lot and made great progress in many ways.

First, in the past I seldom read books. I used to spend most of my time playing computer games. Now I find it interesting to do some reading because good books help me relax after a busy day. They also open up a whole new world to me.

Second, I always forget to turn off the tap and the power when they were not in use. Sometimes I left the tap running after I washed my hands. I always dropped litter careless in the park. But now I have realized the importance of protecting the environment. I always throw the litter into the rubbish bins.

Third, I was impolite before. I sometimes shouted loudly or pushed in before others in public places. Now I can behave politely in public and I often give my seat to someone in need on the bus.

Fourth, I care little about others. But now I offer to help my blind neighbors and donate all my pocket money to Project Hope.

I hope that one day I will travel around the world without passport. I am going to be a social worker because if I am a social worker, I will help more people.

【解析】

本文屬于材料作文，談?wù)勅�年來你的收獲和變化。根據(jù)要表達(dá)的內(nèi)容確定并準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)，上下文意思連貫，符合邏輯，可適當(dāng)增加內(nèi)容。

亮點(diǎn)說明：這是一篇優(yōu)秀的作文，很好的完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)，語言表達(dá)符合英語習(xí)慣，準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)、主謂一致，特別使用一些亮點(diǎn)詞句，如spend+時(shí)間+doing, open up, be going to, first, second, third, fourth, find it interesting to do some reading中it作形式賓語,to do some reading作真正的賓語，if I am a social worker, I will help more people中if引導(dǎo)的句子用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)，主句用一般將來時(shí)，即“主將從現(xiàn)”原則。增強(qiáng)邏輯關(guān)系，增加上下文意思連貫，用詞準(zhǔn)確，句子通順，行文連貫。