Question

17．在陽(yáng)光雨露里，我已長(zhǎng)高、長(zhǎng)壯，但這還不是全部，長(zhǎng)大還應(yīng)包括什么？是關(guān)心、幫助同學(xué)？是體貼、理解父母？是感恩、回報(bào)親朋師長(zhǎng)？還是…，成長(zhǎng)的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴，久久不能忘記．請(qǐng)以I Am Not a Child Any More為題，記敘你在學(xué)習(xí)生活中經(jīng)歷的一件或兩件事，表明你已經(jīng)不再是一個(gè)下孩子．
要求：
1．請(qǐng)根據(jù)所給題目，用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一篇短文，不少于80詞；
2．語(yǔ)言流暢、書(shū)寫(xiě)規(guī)范、卷面整潔；
3．文中不得使用你的真實(shí)姓名、校名，否則以零分計(jì)算
I am not a child any more
I have changed a lot during the past three years．I used to be weak and short．But now，I am strong and as tall as my father．The most important thing is that I have learned to care about others．
It was a Wednesday evening．When I went back home，no one was in．So I cooked the meal．I didn't know my mother was ill until my parents came back from the hospital．They both said the meal was very delicious，although it tasted salty．At bedtime，I fetched hot water for my mother to wash feet．My mother said，"Dear，you are really grown up．"
It was the first time that I had realized I was not a child any more．．

Answer 1

分析 這是一篇提綱作文．內(nèi)容是以I Am Not a Child Any More為題，記敘你在學(xué)習(xí)生活中經(jīng)歷的一件或兩件事，表明你已經(jīng)不再是一個(gè)下孩子．時(shí)態(tài)主要為一般過(guò)去時(shí)．人稱主要為第一人稱．
寫(xiě)作思路：考生需要首先審清主題，圍繞主題展開(kāi)作文．
其次考生可從兩個(gè)大的方面展開(kāi)作文，即本文的寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：
1．我的改變．
2．生活中經(jīng)歷的一件事
常用到的重點(diǎn)短語(yǔ)：
used to do sth 過(guò)去常常
as…as一樣…
care about關(guān)心
grow up長(zhǎng)大
高分句型：
I didn't know my mother was ill until my parents came back from the hospital．（高分句型）
本句是一個(gè)主從復(fù)合句，know后加的賓語(yǔ)從句，其中not…until直達(dá)…才，引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句．
They both said the meal was very delicious，although it tasted salty．（高分句型）
although引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語(yǔ)從句，表示雖然，其中主句還是一個(gè)含有賓語(yǔ)從句the meal was very delicious的復(fù)合句

解答 I am not a child any more
I have changed a lot during the past three years．I used to be weak and short．But now，I am strong and as tall as my father．The most important thing is that I have learned to care about others．（我的改變）
 It was a Wednesday evening．When I went back home，no one was in．So I cooked the meal．I didn't know my mother was ill until my parents came back from the hospital．（高分句型）They both said the meal was very delicious，although it tasted salty．（高分句型）At bedtime，I fetched hot water for my mother to wash feet．My mother said，"Dear，you are really grown up．"（經(jīng)歷的一件事）
It was the first time that I had realized I was not a child any more．

點(diǎn)評(píng) 以提綱提供情景的作文．要注意遣詞造句的靈活性和語(yǔ)法規(guī)則的正確性，就不會(huì)造成審題不清而偏離主題，但要注意，文章必須覆蓋所提供的各個(gè)提綱的要點(diǎn)．行文間要注意簡(jiǎn)化描述，用簡(jiǎn)短的語(yǔ)句代替冗長(zhǎng)的語(yǔ)句．在作文完成的時(shí)候，應(yīng)該檢查、修改，以免遺漏一些需要表達(dá)清楚的要點(diǎn)和細(xì)節(jié)．