Question

假如你是李華，請代表全班同學給老師寫一封信。內容要點如下：

1、課堂上您的微笑，給了我們信心（confidence）。

2、若您的課再生動、有趣些，我們會更喜歡您。

3、我們都很優(yōu)秀，希望得到您更多的表揚。

4、請多給我們一些建議，少一些命令。

5、因為您工作一向很努力，所以，要學會休息，注意保重自己的身體。

注意：

1、以第一人稱寫；

2、詞數(shù)：100左右；

3、開頭和結尾已為你寫好，不計入總詞數(shù)。

Dear teacher,

As your student, I would like to give you some suggestions on behalf of all my classmates．

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yours,

LiHua

 

Answer 1

Dear teacher,

　　As your student, I 'd like to give you some suggestions on behalf of all my classmates.

　　First, I want to say I love you. And I want to tell you that the smile on your face in English class gives us confidence. Then, we think we will love you more if you make your lessons more lively and more interesting. Also, we think that we are all excellent and hope to be more often praised by you. What's more, We'd like you to give us some reasonable suggestions instead of orders. Finally, as you are always working very hard, it is quite important for you to learn to have a rest and take care of yourself! 

　　Best wishes to you!

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】

試題分析：本書面表達是一篇提綱類書面表達。第一步：審題。分析題目和提綱可知，這封書信的體裁應該是議論文。論點是“家長用金錢，旅游等承諾鼓勵孩子努力學習是不確當?shù)摹�，陳述要點并說明理由。因文章需要發(fā)表自己的意見，故使用第一人稱。第二步：構思。文章應該按照“總——分——總”的結構分為三段�？忌�在寫作之前必修認真審題，首先要注意文章的時態(tài)。不能根據材料逐字逐句的翻譯應該注意句子的銜接，以提高作文的檔次。

【亮點說明】文中使用了非常好的短語和句子為文章增色不少，比如on behalf of，what’s more， instead of， have a rest, take care of；還運用句型if引導的賓語從句。并注意了句子的銜接如：first，then，also，finally等等。

考點：提綱類書面表達