Question

【題目】假如你是李華，你們學(xué)校最近開展了創(chuàng)建“平安校園”活動。你們班為此要組織一次主題班會，請你用英語寫一篇發(fā)言稿，談一談你對創(chuàng)建“平安校園”的一些想法。短文應(yīng)該包括下面的內(nèi)容：

1）．安全意識的重要性；

2）．在校內(nèi)要注意人身安全；

3）．運動時要注意安全；

4）．同學(xué)之間發(fā)生矛盾時，一定要保持冷靜、理智。

注意：

1）.詞數(shù)100左右；

2）.可以適當(dāng)增加細節(jié)，以使行文連貫；

3）.文章開頭已給出，不計入總詞數(shù)。

My dear classmates,

There is no denying that safety plays an important part in our daily life. Recently our school has carried out a program aimed at making our campus a safe place to stay on.

Answer 1

【答案】

My dear classmates,

There is no denying that safety plays an important part in our daily life. Recently our school has carried out a program aimed at making our campus a safe place to stay on.

As we all know, as a student，we spend most of our time staying on campus, so it is very necessary for us to obey the school rules. To protect ourselves from being hurt, we shouldn’t chase each other in the hallway and in the school yard after class; we should keep in order when on the stairs; Even when we are doing sports, we should attach importance to the safety and avoid being hurt; Sometimes we are likely to get into trouble with our classmates. Once coming into conflict, we ought to remain calm and avoid any form of fighting, because it may only bring suffering and pain to us mentally and physically.

In my opinion, I consider this program as indeed a good practice, which will make us aware that safety should always come first in our daily life. Only by strengthening our security awareness, can we make ourselves safe and sound on campus.

That is so much for my idea about this activity. Thank you for listening.

【解析】

試題分析：這是一篇提綱類作文，學(xué)校創(chuàng)建“平安校園”活動，班上要組織一次主題班會，李華要準(zhǔn)備發(fā)言稿對此活動發(fā)表看法。為此動筆前，一定要認真分析要點，理解要點要表達的含義，列好提綱，不能遺漏任何要點。要求中給出的要點比較具體,所以表達起來較為容易；除此之外。寫作時要注意時態(tài)的準(zhǔn)確運用，上下文要連貫，符合邏輯關(guān)系，盡量使用自己熟悉的單詞句式，同時也要注意使用高級詞匯和高級句型使文章顯得更有檔次。特別注意在選擇句式時要靈活多變。

【亮點說明】

范文正確地表達了作文的要點，而且中心突出，觀點明確、言簡意賅；除此之外，還較準(zhǔn)確地運用了一些詞組：如as we all know眾所周知；It is necessary for sb to do sth對于某人來說做某事有必要；protect…from…保護…免受傷害；attach importance to重視；sb be likely to do某人可能干某事；get into trouble陷入麻煩；remain calm保持冷靜。好的句式：如Once coming into conflict, we ought to remain calm and avoid any form of fighting, because it ay only bring suffering and pain to us mentally and physically.現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語相當(dāng)于狀語從句once we come into conflict；In my opinion, I consider this program as indeed a good practice, which will make us aware that safety should always come first in our daily life. Which引導(dǎo)非限制性定語從句，指代先行詞this program，除此之外，還有句型make sb aware that…使某人意識到…；Only by strengthening our security awareness, can we make ourselves safe and sound on campus.only位于句首，后跟介詞短語做狀語，運用不完全倒裝。