Question

7．假如你叫李華，是一名高中生．隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的發(fā)展，網(wǎng)上搶紅包（grabbing red envelopes with money on line）越來越流行，吸引了成千上萬的人．對此有人認(rèn)為：搶紅包是一種時尚，增加節(jié)日氣氛，帶來快樂和驚喜，增進(jìn)朋友間友誼…但也有人認(rèn)為：為了搶紅包，很多年輕人整日抱著個手機(jī)，無暇與家人交流，而且浪費(fèi)時間和精力，影響視力和睡眠，網(wǎng)上還易受到欺騙損失財(cái)物…請你給報(bào)社編輯寫一封信，談?wù)勅藗儗�網(wǎng)上搶紅包的看法．信的內(nèi)容包括以下幾點(diǎn)：
1．搶紅包的好處；2．搶紅包的壞處；3．提出自己的建議并說明理由．
注意：詞數(shù)100字左右．信的開頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)．
Dear Sir：
My name is LiHua．
                                                          ．

Answer 1

分析 本篇書面表達(dá)為書信形式的議論文，在高考英語書面表達(dá)中，議論文的命題形式主要以表格式或提綱式材料來呈現(xiàn)．它要求觀點(diǎn)正確、語言簡練．就本題來說，考生應(yīng)該先確定文章的時態(tài)--一般現(xiàn)在時，然后逐層展開論述，本文就搶紅包一事進(jìn)行討論，應(yīng)該包括1．搶紅包的好處；2．搶紅包的壞處；3．提出自己的建議并說明理由．
【亮點(diǎn)說明】
文章使用了非常好的短語和句子給文章增色，With the uprising of internet 隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的快速發(fā)展；What'more 而且；In addition另外；Otherwise否則；What's worse更糟的是；As far as I'm concerned，以我的觀點(diǎn)來看
Some people are in favor of it because they think it is fashionable，adding to the atmosphere of festivals and it brings people joy and excitement．（高分句型）
As far as I'm concerned，grabbing red envelopes on line is not a bad thing so long as we limit the time spent on line．（高分句型）

解答 With the uprising of internet，grabbing red envelopes with money on line is becoming more and more popular，attracting thousands of people．Some people are in favor of it because they think it is fashionable，adding to the atmosphere of festivals and it brings people joy and excitement．（高分句型）What'more，it also promotes people's friendship．
Otherwise，some are against it．They argue that many young people aren't willing to communicating with the elders，holding a cellphone all day long just in order to grab a red envelope．（高分句型）In addition，it is a waste of time and energy and it will affect one's eyesight and sleep．What's worse，some are cheated on line，resulting in the loss of money．
As far as I'm concerned，grabbing red envelopes on line is not a bad thing so long as we limit the time spent on line．（高分句型）

點(diǎn)評 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫，比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞，使文章流暢、通順，并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡單句而造成的單調(diào)感．（1）認(rèn)真審題，確定體裁． （2）構(gòu)思要點(diǎn)．根據(jù)題目要求，理解要表達(dá)的要點(diǎn)．設(shè)計(jì)好文章的層次段落，考慮所用時態(tài)、人稱等，把要點(diǎn)串聯(lián)起來，構(gòu)成文章框架．（3）選詞造句，避難選易．（4）認(rèn)真檢查，避免錯誤．仔細(xì)閱讀全文，查找是否有錯，注意時態(tài)、單詞拼寫、字母大小寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)是否有誤，句式是否正確．邏輯是否一致．