When you are at odds with someone
close to you, the One-Minute Drill can show you how to express your feelings
effectively – and how to listen more skillfully. All it requires is two
individuals who are committed to improving their relationship.
Set aside at least ten minutes, and then
sit facing each other. Decide who will be the Talker and who will be the
Listener. It makes no difference, because later you will change roles.
How to perform the One-Minute Drill
For approximately 30 seconds, the Talker
can say anything he or she wants. Your job will be to express your thoughts and
feelings. You can discuss problems you've had a hard time talking about.
Remember to limit yourself to about 30 seconds. When the Talker finishes, the
Listener will summarize what the Talker just said, as well as how the Talker
was feeling inside, as accurately as possible.
The Talker now gives the Listener a grade
between 0 and 100 per cent to indicate how accurate the summary was. If the
rating is 95 per cent or more, you can change roles; the new Talker can
continue with the same topic or move on to something entirely new.
However, if the grade is below 95 per cent,
the Talker should point out what the Listener missed or got wrong, and repeat
the process until the overall rating is 95 per cent or more. Then you can
change roles and repeat the exercise for as long as you both like.
How it works
Thirty seconds of emotionally charged
information is sufficiently challenging for anyone. Express your feelings in
strong, clear, direct language, but as your partner will be listening
attentively, you won't need to shout, exaggerate or put your partner down.
The Listener should sit and listen
respectfully without interrupting. Look into your partner's eyes, but avoid
using negative body language. If you like, take a few notes.
So the Talker might say: "When I come
home from work, I feel tired and I need some quiet time. But you tell me I'm
supposed to spend time with the kids. This makes me feel frustrated. I work
hard and I'm exhausted at the end of the day. I feel like I deserve a little
time to relax, not listen to more demands."
In response, the Listener might summarize
like this: "You just told me that you feel exhausted when you come home at
night because you've been working hard all day. When I tell you I want you to
spend time with the kids, you feel frustrated and ticked off because
you're tired and you need time to relax. You see me as very demanding, and
you're probably feeling like I don't appreciate you."
The first time you attempt the One-Minute
Drill, you may get a low score. Don't worry, because you'll get up to speed
quickly. Once you've tried this exercise a few times, you'll find that you can nearly
always get ratings of 95 per cent or better on the first or second try.
1. Who is the One-Minute Drill intended
for?
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A．Those who are to act some roles in a certain play for the first
time in their life.
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B．Those who are preparing for the interview in order to make a good
first impression.
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C．Those who have difficulty communicating with their colleagues or
family members.
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D．Those who have troubled relationships with their friends or family
members and try to improve them.
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2.Which of the following is NOT true?
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A．In the One-Minute Drill, the Talker and the Listener change roles
in the process.
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B．The Talker should talk about his / her thoughts and feelings in a
brief way.
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C．The Listener should listen carefully, respectfully and later
summarize accurately.
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D．After the Talker finishes talking, the Listener is to give him /
her a grade.
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3.From the example given in “How it works,”
we can guess that the talk might be between _____.
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A．husband and wife
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B．father and son
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C．mother and daughter
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D．sister and brother
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4.What does the underlined part “ticked
off” probably mean in this reading?
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A．fast asleep
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B．very angry
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C．burst into tears
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D．marked with a symbol
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