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Everyone needs to be safe,loved and to have a sense of belonging.These are inborn and natural basic needs.In an effort to have these needs satisfied,many of us tend to please others.And it works for a while.We find that we experience less conflict with others,but the conflict within ourselves grows.Saying "no" produces feeling of guilt and saying "yes" brings anger.

My father was in the military,so we moved frequently.Being shy,I didn't make friends.What's more,I grew up in a household where grades,image and how others saw our family were very important.In our household a "C" was unacceptable,a "B" should have been an "A" and an "A" meant the lesson was too easy.I was too skinny,my sister was too fat and my brother's lips and ears were too big for his tiny head.

To stop pleasing others is easier said than done.It's a long process,one in which I am consistently working to perfect.The turning point for me came shortly after I got married.The very first thing we did to end the cycle of catering to others was develop our own identity as individuals and then as a couple.And then we developed a strong set of core(核心)values and a vision for our future.The third and one of the most valuable things we did during this process was develop our own personal influence on others and we valued deeply the opinions of the wiser and more successful people around us.

Besides,we should understand that sometimes helping people actually hurts them.Struggle is necessary to success.Struggle strengthens character,making people determined.So sometimes allowing people to struggle is the best thing you can do for them.

1.How are we likely to feel when pleasing others?

A. Satisfied B. Angry.

C. Happy D. Guilty

2.What can we infer from the author's experience as a child?

A. He grew up doing a lot of housework.

B. It was hard for him to adjust to the moving life.

C. He realized the value of opinions from others.

D. His parents had great expectations of the children.

3.What is the third paragraph mainly about?

A. What steps the author took to go on pleasing others.

B. How the author stepped out of the cycle of pleasing others.

C. Why the author further developed his values and character.

D. When the author turned to others for their valuable opinions.

4.What does the author suggest doing?

A. Helping others without delay.

B. Refusing to help others.

C. Thinking twice before offering help.

D. Leaving someone alone in trouble.

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