Question

1．假如你是李華，你們學(xué)校最近開展了創(chuàng)建"平安校園"活動(dòng)．你們班為  此要組織一次主題班會(huì)，請(qǐng)你用英語(yǔ)寫一篇發(fā)言稿，談一談你對(duì)創(chuàng)建"平安校園"的一些想法．短文應(yīng)包括下面的內(nèi)容．
1．安全意識(shí)的重要；
2．運(yùn)動(dòng)時(shí)要注意安；
3．在校內(nèi)要注意人身安全；
4．同學(xué)之間發(fā)生矛盾時(shí)，一定要保持冷靜、理智．
注意：1．不能逐條翻譯；2．詞數(shù)．100左右；3．文章開頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)．
Safety at School
My dear classmates，
There is no denying that safety plays an important part in our life．Recently our school has carried out a program  aimed at making our campus a safe place to stay on．

Answer 1

分析 假如你是李華，你們學(xué)校最近開展了創(chuàng)建"平安校園"活動(dòng)．你們班為此要組織一次主題班會(huì)，請(qǐng)你用英語(yǔ)寫一篇發(fā)言稿，談一談你對(duì)創(chuàng)建"平安校園"的一些想法．短文應(yīng)該包括下面的內(nèi)容：1．安全意識(shí)的重要性；2．在校內(nèi)要注意人身安全；3．運(yùn)動(dòng)時(shí)要注意安全；4．同學(xué)之間發(fā)生矛盾時(shí)，一定要保持冷靜、理智．寫作時(shí)不要逐句翻譯，可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫．要把所提示的點(diǎn)寫全，語(yǔ)句通順，同時(shí)要注意準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)、語(yǔ)態(tài)、上下文意思連貫，符合邏輯關(guān)系．根據(jù)句意適當(dāng)使用并列連詞，同時(shí)也要合理運(yùn)用高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句子為文章增色添彩．注意：1．詞數(shù)100左右；2．可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；3．文章開頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)．
【亮點(diǎn)說明】There is no denying that safety plays an important part in our daily life．there be句型和同位語(yǔ)從句的結(jié)合；I consider this as indeed a good practice，which will make us aware that safety should always come first in our daily life，whether when we stay at school or outside it．非限制性定語(yǔ)從句、賓語(yǔ)從句和whether---or引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語(yǔ)從句完美結(jié)合；When we are doing sports，we should attach importance to the safety and avoid being hurt．句中使用了時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句；Furthermore，when we get into trouble with our classmates，we should remain calm and avoid any form of fighting，which may only bring suffering and pain to us mentally and physically．時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句和非限制性定語(yǔ)從句在同一句中出現(xiàn)，另外Furthermore的運(yùn)用也很到位；As far as I'm concerned，I feel all the students and teachers should work hard and creatively to keep the"safety at school"activity in mind．運(yùn)用了As far as I'm concerned，這樣的方式狀語(yǔ)從句；Besides，we are supposed to observe the law discipline where we are at any moment．運(yùn)用了where引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句．

解答 My dear classmates，
There is no denying that safety plays an important part in our daily life．（高分句型）Recently our school has carried out a program aimed at making our campus a safe place to stay on．
I consider this as indeed a good practice，which will make us aware that safety should always come first in our daily life，whether when we stay at school or outside it．（高分句型） When we are doing sports，we should attach importance to the safety and avoid being hurt．Furthermore，when we get into trouble with our classmates，we should remain calm and avoid any form of fighting，which may only bring suffering and pain to us mentally and physically．（高分句型）
As far as I'm concerned，I feel all the students and teachers should work hard and creatively to keep the"safety at school"activity in mind．（高分句型）Besides，we are supposed to observe the law discipline where we are at any moment．（高分句型）

點(diǎn)評(píng) 提綱類寫作的文章較開放式的文體，比較好寫．學(xué)生在寫作的過程中，首先思路要清晰，要對(duì)所表達(dá)的句子通順的說出來，遇到不會(huì)的要學(xué)會(huì)替換所用語(yǔ)，來達(dá)到同樣的意思．在每一篇作文中，對(duì)于表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)的句子，都要用上起承轉(zhuǎn)合的連詞來加強(qiáng)文章的層次感，適當(dāng)運(yùn)用俗語(yǔ)，運(yùn)用平時(shí)常用的句式來使文章富有變化，表達(dá)地道得體．