MEN VS. WOMEN

COMPARING NICKNAMES

  If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

  If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla (怪獸), Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

BATHROOMS

  A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

  The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337... A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

  A woman has the last word in any argument.

  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.

  Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

  A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

 A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

  A man will only dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

  Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

  Women somehow deteriorate (惡化) during the night.

OFFSPRING

  Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

  A man is vaguely (含糊地) aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no sense in two people remembering the same thing.

1. This passage is_________________.

   A. a story           B. an advertisement         C. a report          D. a humor

2. The purpose of this passage is________________.

A. to inform the readers of some secrets between men and women

   B. to remind the readers of the big differences between men and women

   C. to amuse the readers using some interesting examples

   D. to show that men perform better than women in our daily life

3. When the girls get their bill, they take out the pocket calculators_________________.

   A. to make sure they won’t be cheated by the servant    B. so that they can share the bill equally among them

   C. because they want to know what time it is now        D. if they forget to bring their mobile phones

4. What does the underlined sentence mean?

   A. A man doesn’t know what to do before he gets married.

   B. A man is worried about his future job after he gets married.

   C. Anything unexpected will probably happen to a man after he gets married.

   D. It’s not easy for a man to find a good job as a woman thinks.

【小題1】D

【小題2】C

【小題3】B

【小題4】C

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