某海外學(xué)校舉辦英語訓(xùn)練營(yíng)，開設(shè)了以下課程：園藝（gardening），烹飪（cooking），防身術(shù)（self-defense），護(hù)理（nursing ）。假設(shè)你是李華，寫封申請(qǐng)信，報(bào)名參加其中一門課程的學(xué)習(xí)。

內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)：1. 你感興趣的課程；2. 你期望從中學(xué)到什么；3.為什么想學(xué)這些內(nèi)容

Dear sir /madam,

 

 

 

 

 

Li Hua

 

One possible version：Dear sir /madam,

I am very glad that your school will hold the English summer camp which contains many courses, such as gardening, cooking, self-defense, nursing and so on.

I want to register to attend a course about gardening because I have liked flowers, grasses etc since I was a little child. I especially like playing in the garden where I can enjoy the beauty of nature. For one thing, I want to gain a bit more knowledge of gardening so that it can help me to major in the gardening after attending college. For another, I can realize the bitterness of the gardeners and treasure plants much more consequently. What‘s more, after graduation, I plan to devote my life to cultivate flowers and grasses to turn our country into a more beautiful state, attracting more foreigners to come to visit it.

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】

試題分析：本文要求根據(jù)提示內(nèi)容寫一封申請(qǐng)信，報(bào)名參加某海外學(xué)校英語夏令營(yíng)開設(shè)的一門課程。書信的開始段應(yīng)該提出寫信的目的或者有關(guān)的事件，然后再圍繞要點(diǎn)展開行文。根據(jù)本文中的要點(diǎn)提示，范文內(nèi)容可以分為三個(gè)層次，1. 你感興趣的課程；2. 你期望從中學(xué)到什么；3.為什么想學(xué)這些內(nèi)容，而且寫作時(shí)要注意這三個(gè)要點(diǎn)順序不能顛倒。在時(shí)態(tài)方面應(yīng)該使用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)來介紹自己的興趣愛好，因?yàn)槭巧暾?qǐng)信，所以語言要簡(jiǎn)潔明了，通俗易懂。此外，為了讓內(nèi)容更加充實(shí)，寫作時(shí)也要適當(dāng)發(fā)揮想象。在表述這些方面時(shí)盡量使用多種句式結(jié)構(gòu)，比如名詞性從句，定語從句，介詞短語，分詞短語等以增加文章亮點(diǎn)，提高文章檔次。

【亮點(diǎn)說明】本篇書面表達(dá)段落清晰，層次分明，語言通順流暢。在介紹要點(diǎn)時(shí)用到了表示層次關(guān)系和遞進(jìn)關(guān)系的連接詞，比如for one thing , for another thing ，what is more等，這樣有效地使段落更加層次分明，而不會(huì)給人雜亂無章的感覺。在句式方面作者使用了定語從句where I can enjoy the beauty of nature..狀語從句since I was a little child等多種句式，尤其是文章首句I am very glad that your school will hold the English summer camp which contains many courses, such as gardening, cooking, self-defense, nursing and so on.和文章末句What‘s more, after graduation, I plan to devote my life to cultivate flowers and grasses to turn our country into a more beautiful state, attracting more foreigners to come to visit it.這兩個(gè)長(zhǎng)句的使用更加顯示了作者較高的語言水平，而且也成為了文章的亮點(diǎn)所在。

考點(diǎn)：考查提綱類作文。

 

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