Question

請根據(jù)下面的英語提示寫一篇60字左右的短文。

A man’s daughter is seriously ill and he has to rush her to the hospital. But on the way he injures an old lady seriously because of over speeding.

要求：1.請就該材料發(fā)表你的感想；

          2.應(yīng)結(jié)合材料，有明確的觀點(diǎn)；

                3.請?jiān)诖痤}卡上作答。

 

Answer 1

【答案】

 

I must at first say this father is a responsible father but as a citizen of a society he is not a responsible driver: he only focuses on his own emergency based on the sacrifice of the others’ rights and benefits.

As a member of a society, one has many parts to play. But in my opinion, one should at first be the part that will not harm others on any condition or circumstance. So I think this man should be punished.

【解析】

試題分析：本文是一篇開放性作文。就這個(gè)話題，考生應(yīng)該比較熟悉，寫起來有話可說。但是要想用60左右的字把自己的感想和觀點(diǎn)清晰地表達(dá)出來似乎還有較大的難度。所以寫作時(shí)注意以下三點(diǎn)：一是開門見山直擊話題；二是對這位父親的行為不要全盤否定，要一分為二地看待；三是在談自己的明確觀點(diǎn)前，要有鋪墊性的話語，也就是你給出觀點(diǎn)的某些理由。如果就事論事地談觀點(diǎn)，那就顯得很唐突，上下文不夠連貫

【亮點(diǎn)說明】范文用兩段82個(gè)字就把感想和觀點(diǎn)說得清清楚楚，簡潔明了，值得我們仿效。第一段在一分為二地評論這位父親的行為以后還指出了這種錯(cuò)誤行為的原因，為后面表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)作了第一次鋪墊；第二段在講自己的觀點(diǎn)前，又接著第一段的敘述為講自己的觀點(diǎn)作了進(jìn)一步的鋪墊，使得觀點(diǎn)的發(fā)表水到渠成。彰顯了范文作者很強(qiáng)的邏輯思維能力。范文句式豐富多彩：短短82個(gè)字共5句話，其中主從復(fù)合句就用了3句。其余還用了簡單句和并列句。像“I must at first say this father is a responsible father but as a citizen of a society he is not a responsible driver”這一句就含有賓語從句和并列句。這充分顯示作者駕馭句子的能力。范文詞匯的使用也很精彩：focuses on, based on, in my on any condition or circumstance.這些詞匯的使用更是為文章增色不少。最后一句“So I think this man should be punished”更是畫龍點(diǎn)睛之筆，作者的觀點(diǎn)斬釘截鐵，讓讀者一目了然。

考點(diǎn)：開放式(文字提綱式)作文