9.Once,when I was a teenager,my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus.Finally,there was only one family between us and the ticket counter.
This family made a big impression on me.There were eight children,all probably under the age of twelve.You could tell they didn't have a lot of money.
Their clothes were not expensive,but they were clean.The children were well-behaved,all of them standing in line,two-by-two behind their parents,holding hands.They were excitedly talking about the clowns,elephants,and other acts they would see that night with their brothers or sisters in a low voice.
One could sense they had never been to the circus before.It promised to be highlight of their young lives.The father and mother were at the head of the pack,standing proud as could be.The mother was holding her husband's hand,looking up at him as if to say,"You are my knight in shining armor."
He was smiling and responding in pride,looking back at her as if to say,"You got that right."The ticket lady asked the father how many tickets he wanted.He proudly responded,"Please let me buy eight children's tickets and two adult tickets so I can take my family to the circus."
The ticket lady gave the price.The man's wife let go of his hand,her head dropped,and his lips began to shake.The father leaned a little closer and asked,"How much did you say?"
The ticket lady again quoted the price.The man didn't have enough money.
How was he supposed to turn and tell his eight children that he didn't have enough money to take them to the circus?
Actually we were not wealthy in any sense.So I understand how the kids would feel.I felt sorry for them.
注意:
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Paragraph 1
Seeing what was going on,my dad put his hand in his pocket,pulled out a﹩20 bill and dropped it on the ground.Then he picked it op and tapped the man on the shoulder and said,"Excuse me,sir,this fell out of your pocket.'The man turned around and saw the money.He knew what was going on,he looked straight into my dad's eyes,took my dad's hand in both of his,squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill,and with his lip shaking and a tear running down his cheek,he replied,"Thank you,thank you,sir.This really means a lot to me and my family."
Paragraph 2
That day my father and I went back to our car and drove home without any tickets.We didn't go to the circus that night,when I asked dad why he did so,Dad said,"My child,it was a desperate,heartbreaking and embarrassing situation for a father.Surely he wasn't begging for a handout,but he reminded me of my father,when I was young."He paused for a while,as if wandering in his memory."We should appreciate what we have obtained from life and seize every opportunity to help others.We didn't go to the circus tonight,but we didn't go without.Now,who wants an ice cream?".
分析 寫好這類作文要注意幾個步驟:1. 認真審題,找準提示語中的關鍵詞或句,確定中心思想.2. 依據(jù)關鍵句,草擬提綱,梳理文章的脈絡3. 準確定位人稱、時態(tài).注意使用高級詞匯和高級句型使文章顯得更有檔次.4.最后還要認真查驗是否有漏寫情況,有無拼寫錯誤及標點誤用等
高分句型一:
He knew what was going on,he looked straight into my dad's eyes,took my dad's hand in both of his,squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill,and with his lip shaking and a tear running down his cheek,he replied
他知道發(fā)生了什么,他看著我父親的眼睛,緊緊握住我父親的雙手,而他的嘴唇顫抖,眼淚順著他的臉頰留下.
高分句型二:
We should appreciate what we have obtained from life and seize every opportunity to help others.
我們應該感激我們所得到的生活,抓住每一個機會去幫助別人.
解答 Paragraph 1
Then he picked it op and tapped the man on the shoulder and said,"Excuse me,sir,this fell out of your pocket.'The man turned around and saw the money.He knew what was going on,he looked straight into my dad's eyes,took my dad's hand in both of his,squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill,and with his lip shaking and a tear running down his cheek(高分句型一),he replied,"Thank you,thank you,sir.This really means a lot to me and my family."
Paragraph 2
We didn't go to the circus that night,when I asked dad why he did so,Dad said,"My child,it was a desperate,heartbreaking and embarrassing situation for a father.Surely he wasn't begging for a handout,but he reminded me of my father,when I was young."He paused for a while,as if wandering in his memory."We should appreciate what we have obtained from life and seize every opportunity to help others(高分句型二).We didn't go to the circus tonight,but we didn't go without.Now,who wants an ice cream?"
點評 開放性作文給出一定的寫作主題,并此為基礎進行思維和聯(lián)想,自由發(fā)揮.不僅考查學生在內容、結構安排、語言運用和組織方面的能力,而且對學生的想像力、發(fā)散思維、歸納判斷能力也有很高的要求.