Question

某地要新建一所圖書(shū)館，現(xiàn)在設(shè)計(jì)師Dr huang正在向全體市民征求意見(jiàn)，請(qǐng)你以殘疾人的角度為圖書(shū)館的設(shè)計(jì)提供一些意見(jiàn)。
要點(diǎn)：
1. 出入口的設(shè)計(jì)要符合輪椅出入；2. 電梯的設(shè)計(jì)；3. 洗手間的設(shè)計(jì)。
注意：1. 詞數(shù)100左右； 2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。
參考詞匯：設(shè)施 facility，電梯：lift；
                                                                                            
                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                            
                                                                                            
                                                                                            
                                                                                            
                                                                

Answer 1

Dr huang,
I am a disabled student. I heard that a new library will be set up in our city, and you are asking for advice on the design of the library.
In my opinion, the design of the exit should be made suitable for wheelchairs to come in and get out. As for lifts, They should be designed for the disabled, for example, the buttons of the lifts shouldn’t be too high for us to reach. When designing toilets, you should take the needs of people with disability into consideration. I think the most important is that the facilities of the toilet should be available to us.

試題分析：本文是一封建議信，請(qǐng)你以殘疾人的角度為圖書(shū)館的設(shè)計(jì)提供一些意見(jiàn)。文章的要點(diǎn)也基本上都給出來(lái)了，但不是很具體，考生要把要點(diǎn)解釋清楚，不能有遺漏，還要拓展內(nèi)容，要充實(shí)，在寫(xiě)作的過(guò)程中，要注意使用高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句型，如強(qiáng)調(diào)句，倒裝句等，讓文章更上檔次。同時(shí)在列舉措施的時(shí)候要使用合適的連接詞如：First，second， Besides, What’s more等，讓文章看起來(lái)很有條理，也很流暢。本篇文章在寫(xiě)作時(shí)不要啰嗦，力求簡(jiǎn)潔。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】所給范文語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔，應(yīng)用了一些較好的詞組和句子In my opinion,在我看來(lái)， As for至于，take … into consideration把…考慮在內(nèi)， I heard the news that a new library will be set up in our city, and you are asking for advice on the design of the library.這句話(huà)用了同位語(yǔ)從句， the design of the exit should be made suitable for wheelchairs to come in and get out. 這句話(huà)用了不定式， be designed for為…設(shè)計(jì)， the buttons of the lifts shouldn’t be too high for us to reach. 這句話(huà)用了too…to結(jié)構(gòu)，When designing toilets, you should take the needs of people with disability into consideration.這句話(huà)用了省略句， I think the most important is that the facilities of the toilet should be available to us.這句話(huà)用了表語(yǔ)從句。