Question

12．假如你是李華，請(qǐng)就本校食堂服務(wù)（canteen service）的狀況給校長(zhǎng)寫(xiě)一封信．內(nèi)容包括：
優(yōu)點(diǎn)：食堂干凈；飯菜可口；服務(wù)態(tài)度好不足：價(jià)格偏高；種類(lèi)偏少；等候時(shí)間較長(zhǎng)建議：…注意：1．詞數(shù)100左右；2．開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已為你寫(xiě)好．
Dear Mr Principal，
I am a senior student of our school．I'd like to say something about the canteen service in our school．
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Sincerely yours，
Li Hua．

Answer 1

分析 本文屬于應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作，根據(jù)所給要點(diǎn)和開(kāi)頭，就本校食堂服務(wù)（canteen service）的狀況給校長(zhǎng)寫(xiě)一封信，內(nèi)容包括：優(yōu)點(diǎn)：食堂干凈；飯菜可口；服務(wù)態(tài)度好不足：價(jià)格偏高；種類(lèi)偏少；等候時(shí)間較長(zhǎng)建議：…屬提綱作文．在寫(xiě)作時(shí)人稱(chēng)以第一人稱(chēng)為主．時(shí)態(tài)以一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)為主．
重點(diǎn)詞匯：in general（總之，通常）；What's more（而且）； a variety of （各種各樣的）；In addition（另外，此外）； solve problems （解決問(wèn)題）；
                 so that（以便于）．
高分句型：1．What's more，the workers there treat us as their friends，which makes us feel very happy．
                which引導(dǎo)定語(yǔ)從句，關(guān)系代詞which指代the workers there treat us as their friends這件事．
                 2．However，we feel the price of the meals is a little too high．Besides，we can all only have a limited variety of dishes with little changes every week．In addition，we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get the meal．
                  However，…Besides，…In addition，…這幾個(gè)時(shí)間副詞的使用增加了句子的條理性和層次性．

解答 Dear Mr．Principal，
    I'm a senior student of our school．I'd like to say something about the canteen in our school．
    In general，the service is satisfactory．The hall is clean and tidy．The dishes tastes delicious．What's more，the workers there treat us as their friends，which makes us feel very happy（高分句型一）．講述優(yōu)點(diǎn)．
    However，we feel the price of the meals is a little too high．Besides，we can all only have a limited variety of dishes with little changes every week．In addition，we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get the meal（高分句型二）．You could understand how precious time is to students．Therefore，may I suggest something  to solve the problems so that we can all enjoy our meals at school？指出不足和建議．
    Thanks for your consideration．
Sincerely yours，
Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng) 提綱作文在寫(xiě)作時(shí)要注意內(nèi)容是否覆蓋了所給要點(diǎn)．寫(xiě)作時(shí)注意準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)，使得上下文意思連貫，盡量使用自己熟悉的單詞句式，使文章淺顯易懂，同時(shí)也要注意使用高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句型使文章顯得更有檔次．