Question

【題目】玫瑰市上星期發(fā)生強烈的地震，災情嚴重，各地紛紛向玫瑰市伸出援手。學校將舉辦一場慈善義賣會,為災區(qū)人民募集善款。假定你是班長李華，請你寫一封書面通知，通知全班同學參加，要點包括：

1.活動背景：玫瑰市受災情況介紹

2.活動目的：通過義賣籌集善款幫助受災人民

3.內(nèi)容：慈善物品拍賣，義演。

4.時間:本周六下午14:30

5.地點：學校操場。

注意：（1）須包括以上主要內(nèi)容，可以適當增加細節(jié)，使內(nèi)容連貫；

（2）詞數(shù)：120左右，開頭已給出，不計入總詞數(shù)。

（3）參考詞匯：玫瑰市 Rose City 慈善義賣會 charity bazaar 義演 charity performance

Dear classmates,

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Answer 1

【答案】Dear classmates,

I’m here to announce that there is going to be charity bazaar held by our school, which is meant for the people seriously afflicted by the earthquake that happened the week before in Rose City.

As is known to us all, the earthquake has flattened numerous houses and cracked countless roads, resulting in a formidable situation where a large number of people are reduced to bitter sufferings. It is urgent for us to do something for them. Therefore, we plan to hold a charity bazaar where various items donated by us students will be on sale to raise money for the people in need. There is going to be a singing concert as well. It is on the playground at 2:30 pm this Saturday that we will gather together to make this meaningful event happen.

Come and join us. We would be glad to see you then.

【解析】本文屬于提綱作文。本文是在寫一書面通知，即以書面的形式表達通知的內(nèi)容，其特點是：措辭較嚴謹，句子結(jié)構(gòu)相對復雜，尤其會使用一些復雜的句式和從句。

提綱式作文的一點技巧。

　1、審題。要看清題意，確定文章的中心思想、主題，并圍繞中心思想組織材料。

　2、進行構(gòu)思，列出簡單的提綱。安排好層次段落，鋪設好過渡，處理好開頭和結(jié)尾。

3、擴展成文。擴展成文時還需注意以下方面問題：1)確保提綱中段落結(jié)構(gòu)的思路與各段主題句的一致性。2)要靈活運用各種句式，如倒裝句、強調(diào)句、省略句、主從復合句、對比句、分詞短語、介詞短語等，從而增加文章的可讀性。注意使用高級框架結(jié)構(gòu)的句子，讓文章的結(jié)構(gòu)錯落有致。3)用好連接詞，注意段落間、句子間的連貫性。文章層次分明，前后表達渾然一體。

4、完稿修改（拼寫是否正確，時態(tài)及語態(tài)，主謂是否一致等）。

亮點分析：

本文第一段用用 賓語從句+非限制性定語從句點出的活動目的及背景：… announce that there is going to be charity bazaar held by our school， which is meant for the people seriously afflicted by the earthquake that happened the week before in Rose City.在句中還運用的過去分詞作定語修飾the people seriously afflicted by the earthquake,在由which引導的非限制性定語從句中又有一處由that引導的限制性定語從句修飾the earthquake(that happened the week before in Rose City.)，可謂復雜。

在第二段說明了活動的內(nèi)容。其中As is known to us all, the earthquake has flattened numerous houses and cracked countless roads, resulting in a formidable situation where a large number of people are reduced to bitter sufferings. 是一個復雜句。既運用了由as引導的非限制性定語從句，由非謂語resulting in a formidable situation作結(jié)果狀語，而結(jié)果狀語中又有一個由where引導的定語從句修飾先行詞(where a large number of people are reduced to bitter sufferings)situation，定語從句 a charity bazaar where various items donated by us students will be on sale to raise money for the people in need. 強調(diào)句型It’s …..that…..(It is on the playground at 2:30 pm this Saturday that we will gather together to make this meaningful event happen.)

在文中使用了高級詞匯如be meant for,raise money for the people in need ,on sale urge sb to do sth.reduce sb to doing sth..同時運用的許多連詞，如therefore ,as well ,等，讓文章結(jié)構(gòu)完整，流暢。

總之，整個文章措辭較嚴謹中靈活運用各種句式，如強調(diào)句、主從復合句、分詞短語、介詞短語，主被動的交錯等， 增加文章的可讀性。使用高級框架結(jié)構(gòu)的句子，讓文章的結(jié)構(gòu)錯落有致。連接詞的運用，讓文章層次分明，前后表達渾然一體。