【題目】《英語雙語報》有一個Star Student欄目。請你根據(jù)下表信息，以Yang Yongde—a star student為題向該欄目投稿，寫一篇100字左右的短文介紹你校品學(xué)兼優(yōu)的高三畢業(yè)生楊弘德同學(xué)。

姓名

楊弘德

年齡

19

考入學(xué)校

香港中文大學(xué)

獎學(xué)金

50萬港元

家庭情況

父親死于車禍，母親重病臥床

本人情況

持家、照顧母親、學(xué)習(xí)刻苦、成績突出、樂于助人

你的評價

……

要求：1. 文章必須包括表中信息，可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，使文章連貫。

2. 參考詞匯：香港中文大學(xué)Hong Kong Chinese University; 獎學(xué)金scholarship; 港元HK dollars

3. 開頭已為你寫好，不計入總詞數(shù)。

Yang Yongde—a star student

In this year’s college entrance examination of Shandong, Yang Yongde, a senior 3 student from our school,

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【答案】Yang Yongde—a star student

In this year’s college entrance examination of Shandong, Yang Yongde, a senior 3 student from our school, got a high mark and was admitted to Hong Kong Chinese University, with a scholarship of HK $500,000.

But three years ago when Yang, aged 16, just began his senior 1 school life, his father was killed in a traffic accident. His mother became seriously ill in bed because of his father’s death, losing the basic ability to support herself.

Thus Yang had to take the burden of supporting the family and nursing his ill mother. He overcame difficulty after difficulty that he faced. Meanwhile he studied even harder and did pretty well in all his subjects. Moreover, he is always ready to help others.

Yang Yongde has set us a shining example both in daily life and study, from whom we should learn.

【解析】這是一篇投稿文，文章內(nèi)容已經(jīng)列出，在寫作文時應(yīng)注意以下幾點(diǎn)：

1.通篇應(yīng)用一般過去式。

2.要點(diǎn)應(yīng)齊全，但不可對要點(diǎn)進(jìn)行簡單羅列，要用適當(dāng)?shù)倪B詞使全文流暢，銜接自然。

3.注意語氣。寫作難點(diǎn)在家庭情況上，應(yīng)盡量真實(shí)詳細(xì)，不可簡單羅列并且一定要通過簡單的例子來支撐，否則會顯得說服力不夠，內(nèi)容不夠豐滿。這部分可以采取簡單句與復(fù)合句結(jié)合的辦法。

【范文亮點(diǎn)】：

采用伴隨狀語（ His mother became seriously ill in bed because of his father’s death, losing the basic ability to support herself.）等高級句式。

2采用 thus， because of，meanwhile，moreover等連詞，使文章連貫順暢。

3結(jié)尾語氣自然，符合欄目投稿文章結(jié)尾要求。

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